Curly Hair Don't Care

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Story of my life. Don't get me wrong, 99% of the time I love my curls. They're different and that's fun. I also have super fine, thin hair so it looks like I have way more hair on my head than I actually do. 

There are, however, some types of people I can't stand when it comes to my hair.

1. The Straightener
They're obsessed with seeing my hair straight. They constantly ask why I don't straighten it and if they can please do it and they keep pleading and saying "OMG, IT WILL LOOK SO GOOD!" News flash, it does not look good, at all. It's drab and stringy and well, looks like curly hair that's been straightened. It resembles straw. Not to mention, it takes a good two hours to do and the burning smell and sizzle sound totally freaks me out. The kicker is that after it's all straight, the person who HAD to straighten it and couldn't live another day until they saw it straight goes "Oh, yeah, it doesn't look very good straight. You should definitely have curly hair all the time." Thanks. 

2. The Clueless Hair Stylists
Getting my hair cut is always traumatizing. I stress about it the whole week before my appointment and get super sweaty once they put that black drape over me at the salon. The worst, and I mean worst part about it is asking for "just a little trim" and leaving with a full on curly bob. It's happened. A couple of times. Most of these stylists just don't understand that curly hair shrinks up a good 3-4 inches when it's dry versus wet. I'm not saying every hair person should be an expert on curly hair. I'm just saying that they should know know the dynamics and it annoys me that they don't. Extra rage if they straighten it before I leave, too (see above). 

3. The Touchy Guys
I don't care what Patti Sanger says on Millionaire Matchmaker, some guys love curly hair. I think curly haired girls exude some sort of wildness and guys are all about it. I got my hair cut once and the stylist insisted on straightening it (she was an above mentioned #2) even though I told her not to. I got home and Jared's face dropped and he said "That's not permanent, is it?!"

The guys that love the curly hair from a distance are cool. It's the ones who insist on touching it that I just can't stand. I really don't like anyone touching my hair but creeper guys are the worst. I was at a bar once way back in the day when I wasn't a grandma and in bed by 10 on the weekends, and this guy just randomly came up to me and said "Can I run my fingers through your hair?" I said "No" and went back to chatting with my girlfriends. Out of nowhere he yells "You're a bitch!" I explained to him "No, buddy, you cannot run your fingers through my hair because it's tangly and literally not possible. I can't even run my fingers through my hair."

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